The Wizard Ambrosius Filius Balinor is hopelessly lost at sea. As a storm looms on the horizon, the ocean roars and lightning tears across the sky. Desperate to escape, he conjures a magic door, hoping to teleport back to dry land before the tempest claims him.
Meanwhile, on an alternate earth, the wizard Inconcinnus Fatuus, eager to test his newly acquired Riftplank, departed from the domicile of the Dark Mage of Magicae Insulam. His journey home was meant to be simple -- until the sea turned treacherous. A great white shark, eyes cold and calculating, surged from the depths, halting his return with a sudden and ferocious attack.
"Your Riftplank comes with a free gift", Potens Magus Tenebris (known to most as Haraldus the Arcane Crafter) informed him as he collected payment, a bag of sparking diamonds and rubies.
Inconcinnus Fatuus examined his purchase. It appeared to be nothing more than an assemblage of weathered boards, but Haraldus assured him it opened a rift to The Voluptatem Dimensionem (The Pleasure Dimension). Needless to say, he was eager to try it out.
"These runes activate the Riftplank", Haraldus explained, pointing to arcane engravings inscribed in the wood.
"Excellent!" Fatuus exclaimed. "And what is the free gift you mentioned?"
Haraldus produced a severed, withered human hand from a royal red silk bag. "This is The Manus of Vocare Pistris", he said. "It summons sea creatures to do your bidding".
Fatuus narrowed his eyes skeptically. "You want me to have this for free?" he asked, doubting Haraldus would grant him such a boon at no extra charge.
"This relic was fated to be yours", Haraldus replied. "The Tzigane woman I acquired it from warned me never to use it -- but instead to hold onto it until I could confer it to a greater wizard. She said I would know him immediately when I saw him".
This tale sounded exceedingly plausible to Fatuus. He was a extraordinary wizard, after all. Apparently greater than Haraldus. He appreciated the man's candid honesty. So he accepted the Manus of Vocare Pistris and departed (remembering to take his Riftboard). "This will so be worth the small fortune I paid", he said, thinking of the hedonistic delights he would indulge in once he rifted to The Voluptatem Dimensionem.
Pushing his boat into the waters, he noticed storm clouds gathering on the horizon. He licked his finger, held it up to the wind, and assessed the situation. "I will surely be home long before the storm hits", he concluded confidently.
"Inconcinnus fatuus" is a Latin phrase that translates to "awkward fool" or "foolish inelegant". It combines the adjective "inconcinnus" (meaning awkward, inelegant) with "fatuus" (meaning foolish).
ReplyDeleteThe phrase implies a person who is both clumsy and lacking in intelligence or good sense. It's a descriptive term that emphasizes both physical and mental shortcomings.